t_ERROR_ist

t_ERROR_ist

He shot a Muslim doctor

without even realizing that he was the 

same doctor

who had treated his father

in the morning.

Oye

Oye

Bakchodi mat kar.

#after_effect

Dheere chala.

#pillion_rider

Bus starting ka dikha de yaar.

#exams

Yeh bhi bhar laana.

#lazy_crow

Aise nhi bolte.

#etiquette

Apni plate se kha. BC.

#Best_F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Mere liye chair rakh lena.

#hostel_mess

Ghar se kya laya.

#laddu

Chutiya hai kya?

#wrong_question

Phone mat dekh.

#privacy

So gyi thi kya?

#love

iPhone

iPhone

Every morning he hated his new Phone,

when he heard the voices of his father

struggling

to start old scooter.

close save

Close save

“Stop it. I already know that.”

Husband screamed.

“Thank God. I didn’t know that.”

He said in his mind.

oh fuck!!!

"oh fuck!!!",

he screamed in his mind while taking shower.

He had left his phone on the bed. 

"oh fuck...now I have seen his message!!"

#whatsapp_ticks

"oh fuck....I was dieting."

"oh fuck!!!"

#phone_bettery 1%

"oh fuck....forgot my wallet!!"

"oh fuck...it's Sunday!!"

#provate_job

"oh fuck....something is was on stove!!!"

"oh fuck!!!"

#power_cut

                                                                         "oh fuck!!!"
                                                                      #traffic_police

                                                            "oh fuck...69 missed calls!!"
                                                                            #couples

                                                          "oh fuck...that was not a fart!"
                                                                        #gross_things

lamp

lamp

While walking on the beach,

he found a lamp.

Upon rubbing, there was a huge blast.

Not his,

but someone's wish was granted.

Love

Love

"Define love.", 

she asked.

"I wish for your happiness

instead of wishing for you.",

he replied.

OK.

OK.

“Is it OK if I’ll choose him?”, she asked.

“Yeah, it’s absolutely fine to choose the wrong people for ourselves. 

After all I chose you.”, he replied.

A Fool

A Fool.

A boy was dating a girl who always hurt him. One day, she broke up with him and told him, "I don't ever want to see you again."

A few months later, the girl had a change of heart. She realized that she loved the boy, so she went back and said to him, "Give me just one more chance. I love you and I need you. I promise that I will never hurt you again."

But the boy just laughed and said to her, "Only a fool would take back someone who hurt them so much."

The girl felt hopeless and began to cry, but the boy put his arms around her, held her tightly and said, "...and I am one of those fools."

Via Unknown

I'm sorry.

I'm Sorry.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t save her.”, 

he said in a tensed voice

while removing his mask and stethoscope. 

A little cute girl started crying like hell.

Immediately he picked his daughter up 

and started laughing. 

He had declared her Barbie doll dead 

in this doctor – doctor game.

bucket list # 3

bucket list # 3

own a bullet bike.

Prejudice

Prejudice

He was humiliating himself on the stage, at first with his un-funny jokes and then with his poorly executed magic. Silence turned to boos and soon the crowd began to throw pennies. Most missed, but some struck him in the face painfully. He tried to continue. These people had paid big to attend this benefit. 

Nearby his wife and her friend watched the disaster. "God, you must be completely humiliated," the friend said. His wife looked at her with astonishment. "Humiliated?" she asked, "He's raising money for kids with cancer. I've never been more proud of anyone in my life."

via Quora:Jay Bazzinotti

Trick

Trick

Girl: Hey!! Something has been changed. 

How come you are always happy these days?? 

Whats the trick?

Boy: I have stopped dreaming.

wish

wish

Boy: I wish you were my gf or my gf was like you. Gud nite.

Girl: Same here. Good night. :)

Hopelessly Romantic

Hopelessly Romantic

The problem is

It would hurt, even more

To see you hurt

In the end

The time

Will remind me

Of the beginning

How can I unlove you?

It would be tough, really tough

To move on

But

Even to make you smile

I need to live

Live happily.

I am confused

I am trying

To understand

How should I

Live

Without life.

Love you. Forever.

Love you. Forever.

You said you loved, I ignored 

you said you cared, I didn't believe you 

you constantly texted, I never replied 

you called, I hung up. 

You asked me to stay back, I left making excuses. 

Got a bus to board, got a class, running late, got a train 

Never did you complain 

I was rude, I was bitchy, I was full of attitude 

You were a calm and a composed dude 

This made you think you bugged me, I thought so too, 

But that was not the case .

No more texts, no more calls, never did you wish to meet me again 

There was silence all over, and I missed you 

My heart wanted to call you up, it wanted to text, but my brain denied. 

Ego. 

Everytime the phone rang, everytime it beeped, I ran to see your name, but failed. 

Then came the day, you said hey 

Holding my breath, I asked where you were 

You asked me if I even cared

I said I cared, you ignored 

I said I missed you, you didn't believe me 

I texted, never came a reply 

I called, the phone kept ringing

It was over, I thought. He didn't love me anymore. He would've found another lucky woman. My ego had burnt me to ashes. Ten years passed by. Time flew. Never did I forget him. Nor did I forget, the lesson I learnt because of him. Lives changed. I had moved on. Then came the day, the day of our college reunion. Wrinkled faces all over, excited, with little kids around them. Young couples from college, now mature parents. We could've been one of them, I thought. 

My eyes scanned through, through everything that came on my way. There was everyone except the one I was looking for. I left the hall, convincing myself, that he wouldn't be as excited to meet me, as I was, for him. My heart made me run to that little cottage, which could've been mine. One old woman welcomed me with smiles. She knew my name, I was surprised.  Then came little kids running around. They knew me well too. He had found his love. I confirmed.

Then came a beautiful lady, excited.  ”Brother always said you'd come. I'm so glad to meet you. My kids have grown up having heard stories about you.”, she exclaimed.

So, it's his sister, I thought. I asked her where he was. Had he moved to the city with his family?

She smiled. She said, “It’s been ten years. They had lost him. Cancer ate him up from within.”

When I thought he ignored me, he was in pain.

He was dying with grief, and I, doubted his love.

“He has left this for you “, said Stella. There came a pink card.  It said, “Smile, and move on. Hope you've found someone you deserve. Hope he cares for you more than how much you care for me. You said you cared. I believed you. I wanted you to move on”.

Yes. I never deserved a man like you. I broke down. “Meet you in the heaven, after eighty years “, he added.

We would never meet. I know. Because heaven, is not for people like me. Let's meet in the next life at least. Where I'd be the guy, and you be my girl.  I'm sure you'd do a better job. 

Love you. Forever.

via Quora

Salty Coffee.

Salty Coffee.

He met her on a party. She was looking gorgeous. Many guys were chasing her, whereas he was very normal, nobody paid attention to him. But at the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but she liked his politeness and went with him. They sat in a nice coffee shop. 

He was too nervous to say anything, she too started feeling uncomfortable. She wanted to go home. Suddenly he asked the waiter, “Would you please give me some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee.” Everybody stared at him, it was strange. He also felt the air, his face turned red, but still, he added salt in his coffee and drank it.

She asked him curiously, “Why do you add salt to your coffee? Do you always like your coffee like that only?” He replied, “Yes. I like it like this only. Because when I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the water and while playing I often tasted sea water. This salty coffee always reminds me of my childhood; I think of my hometown, I miss that place so much; I miss my parents who are still living there. I have come far away from my roots, my culture and my family. I miss the smell of that soil”. While saying that tears filled his eyes. 

She was deeply touched. That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that he was the man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind-hearted, warm and careful. He was such a good person and she had nearly lost him, without even knowing him, on their very first date. Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every other beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince and then they started living the happy life. Every time she made coffee for him, she’d put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that he liked it this way.

After 40 years, he passed away. He had left her a letter which said, “My dearest, please forgive me, I have lied you for my whole life. But the only lie I said to you is “the salty coffee”. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but nervously I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication. I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything. Now when I’m dying, I want to tell you the truth and want your pardon. I never liked salty coffee. What a strange bad taste and I have had that salty coffee for my whole life! But since it was for you, I did it happily. Having you with me was my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, I would still want you as my life partner and even I am ready to drink the salty coffee again for my next life as well”. 

Her tears made that letter wet. After so many years, someone asked her, “What’s the taste of salty coffee?” “It’s sweet”, She replied.

via Quora

and when she told him the truth.

and when she told him the truth.

Girl : Hi...!

Boy : Hi...!

Girl : What happened?

Boy : Nothing...!

Girl : No, tell me what happened? Why're you so sad?

Boy : I will ask you something... You will have to tell the truth...Will you?

Girl : Just shoot it. I never lie.

Boy : Who is Rahul? He has liked all your profile pictures and your status updates on fb. Who is that dumb idiot?

Girl : Please...Don't say anything about him.

Boy : Oh...! Wow...! you're in love with him?

Girl : Why would I love him? Don't talk rubbish.

Boy : Then brother kind of relationship?

Girl : No no...It's not even like that. Will you please stop it? I don't want to talk about it.

 Boy : You are irritating me. Why don't you tell me that who is he? After that we'll not talk about it.

Girl : No. Can we talk something else?

Boy : So you are hiding something from me...? You have that much close relationship with

him...?? Is he that important to you?

Girl : If I disclose this secret, you will definitely scold me.

Boy : Hey just tell me... Don't test my tolerance.

Girl : Please let's leave it. Don't you trust me?

Boy : If you won't tell me, I'm gonna kill myself. If that's what you want then fine.

Girl : I will tell you... But then you shud not scold me okay?

Boy : Ok...!

Girl : Hmmm...

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That is my fake profile.If no one likes my profile picture or status updates, I like and post comments like cute, nice, hot...!!! Now go and get me ice cream.

PS: This is not mine. Smile.....it's tax free.

He Stopped Loving Her Today.

He Stopped Loving Her Today.

I came across this song by George Jones from an album I am what I am and I just loved it. It's nothing less than a story in itself and hence I am posting it here. Enjoy the lyrics and listen to this song.

He said I'll love you 'til I die

She told him you'll forget in time

As the years went slowly by

She still preyed upon his mind.

He kept her picture on his wall

Went half crazy now and then

He still loved her through it all

Hoping she'd come back again.

He kept some letters by his bed

Dated 1962 

He had underlined in red

Every single I love you.

I went to see him just today

Oh, but I didn't see no tears

All dressed up to go away

First time I'd seen him smile in years.

He stopped loving her today

They placed a wreath upon his door

And soon they'll carry him away

He stopped loving her today.

Ya' know she came to see him one last time

Oh, we all wondered if she would

And it kept running through my mind

This time he's over her for good.

He stopped loving her today

They placed a wreath upon his door

And soon they'll carry him away

He stopped loving her today...!!

Obviously

Obviously

“I will marry anybody but not Ajay. 

I won’t let my parents ruin my life.” 

She said as she gulped down the vodka shot.

Girish, her best friend, who was listening to her 

since last half an hour suddely said,

“Then marry me.” 

Now she had two problems to deal.

Dream vs reality

Dream vs Reality

He was still in bed dreaming about his college days, his first love and knew it that it was the time, time for two alarms to off together. At exactly 6:30 am, his wife came in the room, switching the alarm off even before it went on and started shouting at him.  As usual she was angry, about something which he didn’t know. He tried once or twice to understand the reason but failed and even after so many years of their marriage he loved to wake up with the voice of his wife. He always woke up late as he worked in the late shift and she was always late because he did not let her sleep early. She was still yelling at him and he was still dreaming about his first love, how had he fallen for the crazy girl. He was thinking about her smile, their first kiss, his first beach trip with her, a treasure of beautiful memories he had.

Finally he got up, when she stopped yelling. She asked him to pack her breakfast and to drop her to the office. He got out of the bed, Smiling. He had packed her breakfast and was waiting by the car. He opened the door for her, she always loved it. After 15 minutes they had reached; she kissed him and left the car. He saw her going inside the office. It felt like a dream that he had married his first love. 

PC: meganjanephotography.com

Almost

Almost

She They fell in love

 and lived happily ever after.

Except around 1023 fights,789 arguments,

76 instances of almost breaking up,

 and later 47 times almost going for divorce;

but they stuck together.

Source:Unknown

ghost...

ghost...

“I am really scared.” 

he said, 

while clinging to her mother.

“Don’t worry, these human only hurt themselves.”,

his mother replied.

different perspective...!!

different perspective...!!

She immediately took off her bra,

It was windy and perhaps

that was already dry.

Excluding you...!!

Excluding you...!!

“Every person you meet is fighting a war, okay.

Life is not that easy”, she took a pause,

“Forget it, perhaps you are a lucky man,

You have always met nice people

and luck has always favored you.”,

she completed her sentence.

“Yeah, I am a lucky man.”

He replied with a smile.

Sympathy...!!!

Sympathy...!!!

Two ladies saw each other in a busy mall 

and both felt pity for each other.

One was wearing

a burka

and

another was in

short skirt.

Test...??

Test...??

“Do you think God loves you?”

His friend asked him while he was praying.

“Yes.”, he replied with a smile, after praying.

“Do you think God listens to your prayers?”,

His friend asked again. “Yes, of course.” He was still smiling.

“Then why do you suffer?” another question came.

“This is how we teach our children.”

He replied while kissing the hand of his

priest friend.

Murphy's law

Murphy's law

Indeed it was a very bad day; everything that could have gone wrong; went wrong; like Murphy’s Law. The best part was that it was over and he was alive. He was enjoying the solitude while sitting in toilet. In the busy life of Bangalore, he always found this place most relaxing and thought provoking. Today he had ruined his boss’s surprise for his wife. His code didn’t work on the third continuous day and girlfriend was also on fire. Later in the evening while coming back, he met with an accident and got his elbows and knees scratched, though he was sadder for his bike’s scratches. He laughed. He always did it. He always thought that this world is an arena and there are viewers out there, watching and enjoying the whole show. He was tired but not frustrated. Under the dripping tap, there was a fly, struggling for her life, in the mug. He enjoyed the show, like those viewers. Then he felt sad and tilted the mug to save that fly but unaware of the fact that along with water it can go out of the mug, fly started trying to reach the other end.  It took him a while to empty the mug and to save that fly. He felt happy for saving the life of the fly. He looked towards the ceiling, with some expectations in his eyes. When he tried opening the tap, he got to know that it was already opened and that was the last mug. Perhaps the day was not over yet and Murphy’s Law was still taking its toll.  

heartbreak...

heartbreak...

Boy: Given an option, what would you like to change about yourself?

Girl: I wish my heart was made of Diamond.

Boy: and why is so?

Girl: Diamonds never break.

Choices...

Choices...

“You have made a mess of your life.

why don’t you do something?”

He asked her, while chatting with her another friend.

She thought for a while and replied,

“I don’t want to live without you.”